I don’t know that much about anything in particular. But that’s not to say that I don’t think
about everything all of the time. Like,
whenever I go to Tanner’s farm and I get some of their homemade ice cream, I go
outside and I stare at the cows as I lick my ice cream cone. They stand there and swat flies away with
their tails like their not even thinking about it; like it’s just something
their bodies got so used to doing. Like
a mother who stands in line at the grocery store and sways back and forth because
she got so used to rocking her babies over the years and now she can’t help
it. But I look at the cows and I think
about how my sweet, sticky treat was made from the milk inside their bodies and
it makes me suddenly uncomfortable and grossed out and unable to make eye
contact with them. It’s the same kind of
feeling like when you accidentally walk in on someone who is naked. I feel like I need to apologize to the cows
and walk away with my head down in shame. And I’m not sure why everyone comes
out to look at the cows like I do, but everyone does. They don’t do anything. They might lie down and someone will nod and
say, “Mhmm. Look, that cow just layed down.
It’s gonna rain.” And I think
that makes people feel smart, like they have a really good read on cows, and
the weather. Some people bring their
kids, and they hoist them up to get a better look over the fence and they say,
“Look, honey! Look at the cows!” But the cow is just standing there, blinking
or eating grass, or thinking about lying down.
Some people make jokes too. Like
a father to his son, “Knock, knock. Who’s there? Moo. Moo who? Moove over so I can see the cows!” And the
cows lie down because that guy is an insufferable nerd and they feel sorry for
his kid and they have heard just about all of the knock knock jokes that they
can handle. And it’s not like cows are
the most majestic creatures either. I
don’t think that anyone is standing there absolutely captivated by their beauty
like you might with a horse. I could be
okay with staring at a horse. The cows
just always look pissed off or depressed to me.
Maybe they don’t like us eating ice cream in front of them. Maybe they
feel too much pressure to be entertaining to children. Maybe they don’t like
being stared at. Maybe they don’t want to mislead us about the weather. Maybe they just want to lie down because
they’re tired or they’re just trying to change things up from standing. Needless to say, I don’t go there anymore. I don’t think I was getting the same kind of
cathartic experience like everyone else.
So now I eat my ice cream at home like a decent human being. And I do it for the cows.
