Moo Who

I don’t know that much about anything in particular.  But that’s not to say that I don’t think about everything all of the time.  Like, whenever I go to Tanner’s farm and I get some of their homemade ice cream, I go outside and I stare at the cows as I lick my ice cream cone.  They stand there and swat flies away with their tails like their not even thinking about it; like it’s just something their bodies got so used to doing.  Like a mother who stands in line at the grocery store and sways back and forth because she got so used to rocking her babies over the years and now she can’t help it.  But I look at the cows and I think about how my sweet, sticky treat was made from the milk inside their bodies and it makes me suddenly uncomfortable and grossed out and unable to make eye contact with them.  It’s the same kind of feeling like when you accidentally walk in on someone who is naked.  I feel like I need to apologize to the cows and walk away with my head down in shame. And I’m not sure why everyone comes out to look at the cows like I do, but everyone does.  They don’t do anything.  They might lie down and someone will nod and say, “Mhmm. Look, that cow just layed down.  It’s gonna rain.”  And I think that makes people feel smart, like they have a really good read on cows, and the weather.  Some people bring their kids, and they hoist them up to get a better look over the fence and they say, “Look, honey! Look at the cows!” But the cow is just standing there, blinking or eating grass, or thinking about lying down.  Some people make jokes too.  Like a father to his son, “Knock, knock. Who’s there? Moo. Moo who?  Moove over so I can see the cows!” And the cows lie down because that guy is an insufferable nerd and they feel sorry for his kid and they have heard just about all of the knock knock jokes that they can handle.  And it’s not like cows are the most majestic creatures either.  I don’t think that anyone is standing there absolutely captivated by their beauty like you might with a horse.  I could be okay with staring at a horse.  The cows just always look pissed off or depressed to me.  Maybe they don’t like us eating ice cream in front of them. Maybe they feel too much pressure to be entertaining to children. Maybe they don’t like being stared at. Maybe they don’t want to mislead us about the weather.  Maybe they just want to lie down because they’re tired or they’re just trying to change things up from standing.  Needless to say, I don’t go there anymore.  I don’t think I was getting the same kind of cathartic experience like everyone else.  So now I eat my ice cream at home like a decent human being.  And I do it for the cows.